One word-change can help with “that parent”. (Or student.)

Teachers are smart. And experienced. And do their research. And think about things. A lot. Overthinking is our standard.

(This one could get me into trouble, but it is true. And powerful. 

So here goes . . .) 

All of that leads to being right a lot. 

Which becomes a habit. Our default. 

Which tilts to the temptation of thinking we are right, and know-it-all. 

Now, to be clear— I’m talking about me. Not you.  (wink)

The more experienced, and researched (older) I become . . . the easier it is to fall into that trap. 

Thankfully, and painfully, I’ve learned to be honest enough to see and quickly admit, when I am (on rare occasion) wrong. 

Growth, improvement, and truth are my goals— not being right all the time.

Again, I’m talking to me. Not you. 

Ok, back to our title. Here’s the secret: 

Right before talking with “that parent”, stop and try this…

What if I decide who I am going to “be” during that talk.

What is the goal?

Will I be the Authority? Respected?

Will I be Strong?

Will I be Right? The Expert?

Who do I want to Be in the conversation?

And how will that conversation play out if I approach it with any of the above, which are from my default standard, or habit? What will it look like? Sound like? Feel like?

Now . . . 

What if you choose to be Solution-seeking?

Or Student-centered?  

Focused on what’s best for the student? 

Regardless of either side’s preferences.

What would that conversation sound like? Look like? Feel like?

Ooo . . . Even better . . .

What if you decide to be “Sherlocky”? (Let’s solve this mystery!) 

Or Intuitive? (Let’s figure out the invisible stuff causing this problem.)

Or Curious? 

Or maybe you decide to “be” empathetic.

Or understanding?

Play out those scenarios in your mind for a minute.

*****Research shows that 1 word can change how we act and what we do.

When 2 groups were asked to play the same game, with only 1 word in the title being changed, the results were obvious.  

Groups asked to play the “Community Game” shared 2 thirds of their profits, while groups asked to play the “Wallstreet Game” shared only 1 third of their profits. 

Remember - the actual games are identical. Only the titles were changed. *****

Here’s the Big Point: 1 word can change our goals, actions, and attitudes. 

The overwhelming 1-word theme in classrooms is to “be” Right.

Is it the same for us in our work and in our conversations? 

But what if we changed our theme?

“Ok kids - for this lesson we are going to be Sherlocky!  

He made mistakes along the way, but he never stopped learning, and finding clues that others missed, until he solved the puzzle! That’s our goal.”

What if you and I stopped for 2 minutes, before that hard parent talk, and intentionally chose the 1 word that we would “be”? 

I wish you well, my friend! 

Steven 

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